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I don’t know, maybe I was remembering it as being better than it really was, but that image stayed with me, the memory of her head on my shoulder, lightly playing with my chest, was probably the best memory of my entire life. Yeah, I had been carrying a torch for her all of these years, and while it had burned down to embers before, it had flared up brightly in the past few months. Simply put, I had it bad! That’s the way the guys at the ranch had put it, and naturally, I had denied it, but they were right, and I knew that they were right. And I needed to fact facts: perhaps part of the reason Emily wasn’t interested in seeing if things could work out ten years ago is that she was just plain out of my league. Oh, she wasn’t drop dead gorgeous or anything like that, but she was cute, and better-looking for a girl than I was for a guy, even though I wasn’t going to win any ugly contests. But she was always so very well put-together, and her father was a doctor who passed for wealthy. He made me feel whole and that was somethingwhich I had not felt since we parted 8 years ago. It wassomething which I had always wanted to have again but it wasalways out of my control."John. It really is great seeing you again. I'm really quitehappy that you decide to come." Yeah. You said that already. Nervous?", his face lit and asmile came to him."Me nervous. 'Bout what?" I was trying very hard not toquiver outwardly but I felt like jelly inside. My stomachwas turning over and over and I felt like a bad k** standingbefore the principal."It's okay, Steve. Why don't I just put you to bed so youcan get some sleep?" I do need the sleep and I really think I should go to bed,but I'll only go on one condition." Name it bud." You come with me." There. I had said it. It made me feelrelieved and at the same time somewhat scared. I'd neverslept with a man before. And if ever I was going to, itwould have to be John. He was so perfect. I had .
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